Spilling the Juice

Max I would like to thank you for those inspirational words. " I choose" "I shall" "I will" are really powerful words. The psychology of the mind is one of the most amazing things that we humans can help to either serve a greater purpose and also a darker side, to manipulate and to destroy.

But yes, thank you for giving me a lift. I feel lighter and I am empowered.

Today doesn’t get any easier, but is a stepping stone from my dream. D’you know what my dream is? It is to own a production house one day, to be a filmmaker.

Why this dream? Its always ingrained in me that I am drawn to the arts. Somehow I couldn’t put a finger to what sort of art I want to delve into until I went into filmmaking. This passion to write and to tell stories about experiences, people and feelings…Its amazing. It is the way you want to tell the story…the way you want to share…the way I want to ultimately inspire people.

I choose to build this dream slowly, I choose to gain my experiences from different perspectives and situations I am facing…I choose to one day inspire my people and hope that we all can dream and make it a reality.

It’s not easy being where I am now. I have to admit it took me quite awhile till I got sick of the idea of wanting or needing to stay the way things were.

Sometimes I wonder, what this life is worth living for? Sounding corny? Again think about it…Sometimes I find myself staring blindly at people, things and the scenery pondering on these questions…l used to get so upset if I slept in the afternoon…My mind would just tell me I have wasted almost a day when I could have been doing something productive…like accompanying mom or talking to my brothers…

The day is not enough, maybe perhaps the reason why I get up early in the mornings is because subconsciously my mind is telling me that I have a full day ahead to do alot of things…but somehow I waste them through procrastinations or some distractions that keeps me from doing what is really needed to be done for the day.

I have to admit I have alot of flaws and the saying "Prevention is better than cure" does not apply to me. I am hardheaded and I guess mistakes are the only way that I will ever learn in order for me to grow.

Right now all I want to do is to focus on my career (which by the way is still fuzzy), my family and a future with my loved one. I am slowly standing, the pain is still in my veins, but I know I have never felt more alive than before…I know what I want and need…I know what I want to live…Its a matter of achieving it, and that is the task…that is the challenge!

These past few days have been good. Well more like I choose to see it as good anyways.

Nothing can stay the same again. We are changed by the events, people and situations around us. You think life was simple back then…actually its not…In that space and time, it was as challenging as the current situation.

The one thing that I learn from all of these is to stay upbeat no matter how the situation turns…the phrase…it can’t get any worse than this…somehow is uplifting.."so watcha gonna do about it?"..Why of course you move, when its down, the only thing left to do is to push up…

I am quite happy with the way things are now…I feel good about not having to put down my value for others. Honestly I don’t really care what people say about me anymore. Remember this very clearly…shallow people gossip, moderate people talk about memories, great people plan and execute events to generate memories and gossips…

Sounds good ain’t it…so think about it!